Dog Tails

As you may have guessed, I have too much time on my hands. I talk about things that cross my mind, or try to cross my mind before I apprehend them. I have noticed, however, that a lot of folks seem to have even more time than I. For example, I read recently that a researcher noticed that all dogs wag their tails to the right when they first start wagging. Every time. That's the kind of thing that makes you wonder, that just makes you just sit there with your mouth open and stare blankly into space. How did someone notice this? Did it just happen, like when Isaac Newton noticed that what goes up must come down? Or was it the result of a scholarly assignment from a grizzled old professor covered with chalk dust, given to a brilliant student at some ancient and ivy-covered university?
 I took note of the tail-wagging phenomenon, and placed it aside for further scrutiny, when to my amazement, another blockbuster announcement burst upon the internet. It has been discovered that, if a dog is happy to see you, his tail wags to the right side of his body, but if he's nervous or angry, it wags totally on the left side!
 Lesser minds might think this is all meaningless, but nothing could be further from the truth. Here's the interesting thing. Throughout history, left-handed people have been considered flawed, to say the least. In the Italian language, the word for "left" is "sinistre". Yes, it closely resembles the word "sinister", which means something with evil connotations. In the French language, the word for "left" is "gauche", which is also used to mean low-class.
 In the old days, if a child was seen to favor using the left hand, it was discouraged, and even punished. As so often happens, the old wives' tales have proven to be based in fact. Things that tend to the left are indeed an ill omen. Just ask any batsman in baseball who faces a southpaw on the mound.