If Only I Bought Bitcoins!

Bitcoins were selling for $13 apiece last January. Yesterday they closed at $1004. Now, I knew about bitcoins in January, and I had $13 to spare, but of course I was way too smart to waste my hard-earned money on such foolishness.
 For the unenlightened, bitcoins are a form of "virtual currency" that is being closely watched by folks like the nation of China and the U.S. Federal Reserve. Bitcoins can be "mined" by your computer, using complex algorithms. They were invented by a mathematician a while ago that nobody seems to know, as a legitimate experiment or a magnificent scam, depending upon your point of view. Since I don't even know what an algorithm is, I shied away from the whole thing. Discretion is the better part of valor, as they say. Except, of course, if by being bold you could have walked away with a heavy bundle of cash.
 The idea of money goes back a long way. Beads, shells, silver, copper and gold have all been used over the years to buy stuff, to hoard, and to kill for so you don't have to bother saving it. Today, we mostly use paper money, and if the wrong person realizes you have a lot of these pieces of paper in your pocket, he may kill you for them. Looking at it from that perspective, bitcoins are no more foolish than any other representation of wealth.
 Then there is the troublesome idea of value. What is an ounce of gold worth? It's worth what someone will pay you for it, using a form of currency you will accept. That depends literally on the day of the week and the time of day. What something is really, really worth is called its intrinsic value. In truth, the value of anything depends, like beauty, on the eye of the beholder. What is a slice of pizza worth? It depends on how hungry you are. If you just ate a nice meal, the pizza has no value at all. If your family is starving, you'll kill for it.
 Financial advisors tell us we should pay off our debts, own our own house, keep six month's pay in the bank, put ten per cent of our wealth in hard assets like gold and silver, and live a cautious and frugal life. If we could do all that, we wouldn't need a financial advisor in the first place.
 If they're so smart, why didn't they tell us to buy bitcoins?