First of all, you must go to the nearest grocery store and pick up about six pounds of weapons- grade enriched plutonium. This product is available under various brand names, and all of them are equally good. Next, a quart of tabasco sauce. You may receive some suspicious glances with this purchase, so just get used to it. After all, the world will end soon, so, why obsess about it?
Add these ingredients, along with a pint of inexpensive whiskey, into a stainless steel lobster pot and stir vigorously. I might even say, stir with absolute malice. The stainless steel will hold the ingredients for about two hours, before they eat through the bottom of the pot, so keep an eye on your new hobby!
Now comes the hard part. You must add a quart jar full of air collected from a public restroom on a Saturday night, preferably around one o'clock in the morning. The quality of this air will vaguely resemble your grandfather's farts after a night of carousing. I have warm personal memories of my sainted grandfather MacKenzie releasing farts of Olympian proportions that would wilt the flowers on my sainted grandmother's wallpaper. It is this methane- saturated air that will be the vehicle your very own bomb will use to come into existence, just before it ends existence in general, so to speak.
Finally, set the sealed jar into the lobster pot carefully. Place the pot on the front lawn of your least favorite neighbor, or your local IRS office. Stand about four feet away, and shoot the pot with the copper-clad, armor-piercing bullets that I know are already loaded into your AK47.
And, there you have it! Have a nice day, and happy destroying!
1 comment:
As our sainted grandmother might say, you're an odd duck, and a good egg.
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